Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Changing Lanes, Changing Times

Some notes for Claustrophobics entering the Lincoln tunnel. Remember the rule of thumb : Leave the car where it is and run for dear life. Don't trust me ? See what we have for you here : Big-bad-monster-truck-braking-too-often in the front, Big-bad-monster-truck-who-forgot-to-brake in the back, Big-bad-monster-truck-who-wants-to-change-lanes to the right, concrete to the left, river hudson on top and the movie 'Daylight' in mind. Go on. Make your day.



Arunthur never understood the idea behind satellites. You only need to put your hand out of the window to know if it rains or not. And then, someone introduced him to the GPS. To a geographically-disoriented-by-birth Arunthur, that was quite the Excalibur. Until the GPS decided to have a mind of his own. It operated on one guiding principle. Wait till it is too late to enter a lane, then recalculate. Repeat. Getting lost in a straight road is Arunthur's specialty. He doesn't need a GPS and a billion dollar satellite to help him there.

Arunthur used to be this insufferable traffic cop back home. His favorite yells were 'Don't change the lanes', 'Watch the signal', 'Don't honk, its bad manners', 'Always double-check before you park'. In short, he was the long-haired Sakthi Vel in a town full of Mayans. And then, all hell broke loose and the sleeping tyrannosaurus-rex was woken up. Only, everyone in Manhattan thought it was quite normal to do all that and more.

You should see Arunthur drive. Its like watching Da Vinci paint (or watching the paint dry, depending on where you are coming from). The kind of thrill his driving offers is nearly equal to watching an award winning movie with subtitles on a sunday afternoon. And then, Arunthur got stuck right in the middle of the road when the signal went red. A big board which said "fine + 2 points for blocking the box" and honking taxis coming from straight ahead like greyhounds. "Screeeeechchchchch" went the back wheels. "Whirrrrrrr" turned the car. "Yikessssss" screamed the missus. How the times have changed.


Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...