Sunday, March 22, 2009

Ego custodiet ipsos custodes

Arunthur's Journal: 1987. Moore and Gibbons just released novel. Can't read right now. Book rated 'R'. Also no time, have to memorize 13th table for tomorrow's class.

Arunthur's Journal: 1991. Terry Gilliam wants to make movie out of novel. Called novel unfilmable and gave up. Couldn't care less. It cannot beat "Thalapathi" anyways.

Arunthur's Journal: May 2005. Using torrents heavily. No MP3s or movies, such downloaders should be lynched. Only graphic novels. Should be commended for that. Got the entire novel today and trying to read on Acrobat. Wish me luck.

Arunthur's Journal: June 2005. Read the novel. re-read it. Reading it for the third time now. Acrobat hurts. Eyes aching. Will not rest. Will not give up. Will laugh in the face of fatigue.

Rorshach's Journal: 2006. Novel languishes in development hell. No one ready to dare. Cowards.

Rorshach's Journal: 2007. Ray of hope. Zach Snyder wants to film novel. Good man Snyder. Loved 300. Heavy metal music. Lot of blood. Nice.

Rorshach's Journal: 2008. Watched trailer. Kicks ass. Cannot wait for March 2009. Gutless hollywood execs saying 'No' till now. They will all have to answer to me. And when they scream for mercy, I will say 'No'.

Rorschach's Journal: March 2009. Jet streams of blood pounding in heart. Have tickets in hand. Show starts in 5 minutes. Here I come.

Rorschach's Journal: Gilliam was right. Novel is indeed unfilmable. Snyder chose 300 wisely. Lot of action, linear narration, tonnes of eye-catchy moments. Worked out well. An entirely different beast this one. Snyder tried. The innovative narration of the "Minutemen" story, casting, novel panels translated to screen with precision, truthful to whatever original material it covers, the "grassy knoll" sequence and other nice touches. Snyder tried, hats off. But novel not just story of 6 individuals. Novel much more than that.

Minutemen appear only in title sequence, Hollis appears for 5 minutes, Hooded Justice shows up only to beat up comedian, Ozymandias' comes out as crazy guy, not the twisted-yet-determined genius. Whats with the doctor who interviews Rorshach ?? The folks at New Frontiersman, The lesbian lovers, The apocalyptic painting, the news vendor, the "black freighter" fan ?? Where are they ?? All wrong. Completely wrong. Need to be fixed. Need some time alone with film producers and iron pipe. Need to politely instruct them to stay off "Sandman".

Biggest gripe on how Snyder filmed Rorshach. Jackie Earle Haley did justice, Snyder did not. Rorshach's backstory dumbed down. Rorschach's jail interviews dumbed down. Nothing on Kitty Genovese and the Rorshach Blot. Shame. Importantly, Rorschach has tears in the end ?? _The_ Rorschach ?? Too bad, Snyder. Too bad.

I know what you think. "Greatest novel of all time, made into a movie, idiot blogger does not understand". "Need a 12-hour movie to film everything, stupid blogger". "I waited all my life for this movie adaptation, if you didn't like the movie, crawl back in your hole, tasteless blogger". Had a choice. Could have taken easy way out. Could have showered glory on film. Could have gone with the crowd. But, Never. No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise.


Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

10 Things You Least Wanted To Know About Switzerland

10. Rivers running through cities. A bridge with curved pillars every mile. Cobbled streets that go nowhere and everywhere. Church with huge clock. Tall buildings with spires. The occasional castle with a torture chamber. All checked. Now I can start narrating stories that begin "You know that time when I was backpacking across Western Europe ...."

9. After days of eating Fondue, Raclette and Pizzas, you realize that white rice is actually ambrozia.

8. That piece of cloth that looked like a shoe-wipe is not a shoe-wipe, but designer wear. That price tag of 49 swiss francs is actually 49 swiss francs and is officially outright robbery.

7. Vegas makes money with casinos. Paris makes money with museums. Bangalore makes money with computers. Switzerland makes money with cows wearing bells and banks without rules.

6. The California state motto of "Eureka" is inspired by Archimedes. New Hampshire gets it's motto of "Live Free or Die" from a famous American Revolutionary. Zurich gets its motto from the famous thamizh saying "thottadhukellam kaasu".

5. Have "shopping issues" ?? Worried if significant-half will run riot shopping ?? Fear not. Provide SH directions to Bahnofstrasse - where the sheer number of shops make it look like North Usman Road, but price tags make it the Champs Elysee of Zurich. The only affordable thing found (and was immediately bought) on Bahnofstrasse: Roasted Peanuts.

4. All the statues found on main downtown streets feature nude gods and godesses. Either the medieval sculptors were less imaginative with fashion or there was no fear of censorship.

3. Daily breakfast together at the hotel buffet. Daily lunch on in-room service. Daily Dinner at the Airport food court. This has to the most romantic swiss trip imaginable. By a margin as wide as Sehwag's bat.

2. If there was a 11th commandment, it would read "Don't indulge in Swiss Chocolates". A simple plan of eating a single bar is usually followed by a few hours of empty staring at the bulging gut with enormous volumes of guilt and a dozen wrappers at your feet. Sinful.

1. Engineers are polite. Waiters are polite. Managers are polite. CIOs are polite. Drivers are polite. Co-passengers are polite. Dogs are polite. Everyone is so polite that one would think Poornam Viswanadhan was a dada from korukkupet.


Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...