Thursday, April 15, 2010

IPL Chairman for Nobel

If Einstein can get a Nobel for something we already know, how about our IPL Chairman for this year's Nobel?

Personal Integrity: In the mid-80s, arrested for carrying only 400gms of cocaine (as against the tonnes drug lords usually get charged with), charged with assault and kidnapping (but not anthrax based bio-terrorism) and pleaded guilty (brownie points for honesty) [Courtesy: Wikipedia]

Contribution to the game: Ensured that the current and future generations will have a very short attention span for times to come. Introduced highly cricket-relevant concepts like cheerleaders and a strategic timeout to a game already overflowing with advertisements. Re-vitalized the dreaded "5 days and sometimes no results ?? Test Cricket is a bore" maxim. Didn't contribute a dime to domestic cricket from the billions made from the IPL.

Innovation: Somehow being called Genius for stealing a concept originally formulated by the ECB and introducing it in India. Praised for managing the IPL and making millions when in actuality, making money out of Cricket in India is like saving money using Geico.

Camaraderie: Destroyed the lives and careers of fellow countrymen who played for the ICL for two reasons - the undisputed monopoly enjoyed by the BCCI and just plain spite.

Character: Dated supermodel. Got dumped. Ruined her chances at the IPL contest successfully. Worked hard to deny her an Indian visa. Got shafted by central minister. Attempting to shaft central minister.

And personally, for re-enforcing the fact that Twitter indeed is a garland. We all know what happens to garlands when it falls in the hands of a certain sub-species.


Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...