A Few Open Letters

Dear Mr. Michael Schumacher,

I apologise to you for calling you a bad driver. How can there be a __bad__ driver to begin with ?? All drivers who do not intentionally/unintentionally kill other occupants of the road __have__ to be good drivers. By the way, I wanted to ask you a few questions about your experiences on learning to drive a car.

1. On the first day of your driving class, when you walked towards the car with the trainer sitting in, did you feel like someone threw in a lit-flare bundled with a gas cylinder into your stomach ??

2. When you sat in the car and looked at the road, did you feel like you were in a over-sized casket, with the belt present just to make sure you dont escape even if you have a change of mind ??

3. Did you feel elated when you applied the first gear and the car moved without stalling, since most of your friends stalled it countless times, and later embarassed to know the fact that the clutch you had was dummy and the instructor was the one who had the real clutch ??

4. Did you notice that, all of a sudden, everyone in the public was wearing a red tee-shirt with a huge telescopic viewfinder on it, and the words "Hit Me" written in a large font ??

5. Did you feel cursed when you had to include "Inability to keep the car going in a straight line" as one of your current personal problems ??

6. Did a bunch of school kids, who were waiting for the school bus, run helter-skelter for their dear lives when you made your first U-Turn ??

7. When you got out of the car after this exercise, did you end up with a pain in the back, neck and the shoulders and wondered if it were some sort of sadistic bonus for your job ??

8. On the way back home when you rode your bike, Did you suddenly feel an increased love for her ??

If the answer to all the above questions is "Yes", you are on the verge of getting someone to give you company at the top. Thanks.