Anchors Away

The Rooster is a funny bird. At odd times, it shivers a bit making you notice it, puffs up quite a lot with so much pride that you think it is going to sing an opera, but merely ends with a cackle. The male ego is something very similar.

When our ego shivered, we dutifully took notice of that and decided we had to feed it with something egomaniacal. For some unknown reason, Kayaking hit us. Consider this. In a country where many of them know only the name of the streets that is right next to theirs and think any other street could be in mexico, your map-provider shuts shop on that sunday driving you somewhat insane. A sleek-looking chevrolet cobalt reminds you that it is ONLY sleek-looking, and throws some strange error message on the panel much like Windows, and refuses to run, driving you completely insane. Now, arent these good enough signs for the oncoming tragedy ?? Being the reader of this blog, you see it. Being the writer of this blog, i didnt.

A newly-dating couple and an elderly-couple woke up from their beds and saw something devilish first thing in the morning. They thought it was superstitious to believe in all that and proceeded with their kayaking trip to monterey bay. They only retured a bit wiser. Monterey Bay, such a beautiful place. Sunny weather, calm backwaters, schools of otters and sea-lions. Perfect runway for our weekend ego-puffing.

The first lesson for any new kayaker is to realise the truth. Kayaks have a mind of its own. I know you think this only proves i am schizoprenic, but yes, the kayak we had a mind of its own. Why would we be making Zs and Ss the water when all we wanted was to keep it straight ?? As we slowly zig-zag our way to much shallower waters, we saw a maze of watersheds into which we need to go. Much like driving an F1 car in monaco when you cannot keep a T5 straight on the autobahn. Perfect.

Elderly couple: through.
Youngsters: through.
We: stuck in the marsh and unable to wiggle our way out.

"Pull away guys, Pull away", shouts brian, our guide for the tour. Bull throws his paddle on the mud in a certain angle to push the kayak away. It surely pushes the boat back to the water due to some property of geometry, but as an undocumented corollary, splashes salty-black-marsh in my face.
"Turn left, Turn left" hollers brian. I seem to overdo the rudder and turn into the other bank. Some more intellectual paddling by Bull and some more mud in my face.
"Paddle backwards on your left", screams brian. I paddle, but on the right.
"The other left, the other left" brian gives up. I get embarassed at that instruction, paddle on my "other left" a bit too hard and bump straight into another kayak.

When we took the final bend back home, Bull and I were plainly relieved that we dont have to look embarassed anymore and before anyone asks us some sympathetic questions, we should probably get out. That was when Mother Nature threw her ace. The skies darkened, The wind worsened and blew against us and the current pushed us back. As we took pity on the elderly couple and saw where they were, they zipped past us like they had secretly-built motors in their kayak. What followed for the next half-hour was sheer masochism with me and bull splashing water on each other, hitting each other with paddles, taking deep breaths and swearing loudly, almost crashing into a pillar on the mooring pad (courtesy: my ability to use the rudder with my feet) and nearly tearing our elbows with some super-human paddling.

When we got out, everyone had already assembled in a circle for the usual parting-ways thingy, the one which we desparately wanted to miss considering the harassment we had done to everyone else in the bay (including those poor otters and sea lions who are contemplating suing us for trespassing and property destruction). Brian started "everyone of you did a brilliant job today, a round of applause for all of you". For some reason, i dont think he looked at us. Heck, we were too busy watching the seagulls to see if they cackle too.