WMD

Prologue

"Cheer up Lucy, It is not the end of the world".
"But Lois, you don't understand. This .... this should have been my biggest moment as a fashion designer. But now, ... now, I don't know where I am headed. If this doesn't work out, my whole career is doomed", said Lucy emptying a new box of hand towels.
"Lucy, Let me care of this"
"But Lois, how could _you_ ..."
"Sheesh, of course not _me_, but I know of someone who might help us out", said Lois with a knowing smile.
"But, would he ??", asked Lucy.
"Trust me dear, he _better_" said Lois, extending a fresh box of tissue papers.

Morning, Present Day

I feel different today. I think everyone does on their first day to work. Dad believed that human beings placed unshakeable faith on the maxim "First impression being the Best impression". And boy, the kind of impression I'm going to make today, am sure the rest of Kansas is going to talk about it for ages to come. People would go "I was there on his first day", "He was right next to me, wearing that brilliant suit", "Oh boy, what an entry". People screaming my name. Yes, it feels good to be creating history. If only I could fly before Lois comes in.

I heard someone say "Helllllloooo Dearrrr" from behind. Trouble. Folks, That is Lois - My Girl. My sweetheart. No, she is not Trouble. A "Hello" with an unbelievable number of 'L's and 'O's. Now, _that_ is Trouble. That suffixed by a drawly "Dear". Disaster. Should keep a straight face.

"So, did you think about it Darling??", asked Lois.
Darn. Not again.
"Lois, We had this conversation yesterday. The answer is No", I cut a straight face. That is the only way to handle a woman's opening gambit. The trustworthy-and-almost-invincible Mushy-Mushy.
"Honey, my sister got this assignment on her internship. And she has to make this work to get the job. We got to help her out. If you could only ..."
"No, Love. I cannot. I just cannot. Your sister's design, its just ... just plain hideous. For chrissake, did you even look at it ?? it's Red in color." There, I couldn't get straigher. I think I am getting better at this game.

"My sister has been through a lot", I could see red in Lois' eyes now. Oh dear, this isn't going the way I planned. She switched from the time-tested Mushy-mushy to i-am-a-wronged-woman-and-you-are-not-getting-away-with-it Menacing within a nano-second. I know where this headed. I know what follows Menacing. Change course right now. Dont let her corner you. Don't let your voice show your weakness, but make sure you repair the damage. Easy. "I didn't mean it that way", I said. I thought I quavered a bit towards the end. Just a bit. I hope she didn't notice it.

A shark tracks a drop of blood in the water from more than 5 miles away. A lion scents a gazelle from 10 miles or even more. The woman nails the man down with a single syllable of uncertainity from a recitation of a four-page reading comprehension. Lois is the woman's woman, and she is not going to let go.

"All I ask is - Can't you do this for me ??", she burst out in tears. Notice the italicized "me". There, the metamorphosis is now complete. From the i-am-breathing-fire Menacing to now-beat-that-if-you-can Melodramatic. The single most powerful weapon of mass destruction that no man, ordinary or super, can ever witstand. All our cards were face up and she has a full house. My game was over, with my pride being the only thing at stake. Hmm, Come to think of it, whose going to know even if I do it ?? Thankfully, no one. Maybe I can still get away with something worthwhile if I play this right.

"Okay hon, I will do it. I will do it for you", I repeat what zillions of other men are repeating across the universe for aeons without the slightest hint of what they are getting themselves into. "But honey, am already wearing one. And let us just assume that I wear this for you, no one is even going to see it", I said in all honesty.
A face which was mobbed with tears just a second ago, lightened up like a shooting star. When life comes to smoother times, I should remember to ask her how they even manage to do it.
"I know and I have an idea", she said.
It didn't hit me for a second. And then, it did. Like an oncoming Comet.
"Lois, you got to be kidding me".


Evening, Present Day
10 miles from the Smallville Train Station, where a train which was about to leap out of a bridge was miraculously saved by someone/something

"It .. It ... He saved us!!!!"
"Daddy, I need a dress like that"
"Daddy ... Me too !!!"
"Its a bird !!!!"
"No, Its a Plane !!!!"
"No, no .. Its .... Hey, wait a second ?? Why is he wearing it __outside__ ??"

"Darn it Dad, Why on Krypton did you send me to this planet ??"