Run Forrest Run

Motivation to run is very much like ear-popping when driving down a mountain. No one is born with ears popping, it just happens. Same with running. Bully at school counting on your assignment writing skills, glass windows broken to pieces with the bat in your hand, girl friend's mega-rich dad with mega-sized goons- there are so many reasons. As an aside, I love running too, but for slightly different reasons. Ah, Imagine the setting sun, a lonely hill side, bursting biceps, taut triceps, hard-as-nail hamstrings, carved-up calves and a silhouette. Wait, Thats Sylvester Stallone from Rocky IV. Now, imagine a big, fat slob huffing and puffing his way on the treadmill towards the promised land of fitness. There, that is more like it.



Running on the treadmill sounds really straightforward. Climb on treadmill. Run. Climb down from treadmill. But one should know things are usually different in real-time than they were when you heard them - our resident 'darn-they-told-me-it-would-be-easy' motivational speaker Abhimanyu knows a thing or two about that. I know, this blog is suddenly veering towards health, weight-control, longevity et al from other interesting aspects of life like Maria Sharapova and Rachel Bilson. If you were born before 1978, you already know why. If you weren't, you will know eventually. So you want to stay healthy, do you (read: you want to fit into that old jeans of yours which just went from super-comfort to extra-tight and all that you did was to eat a few burgers, some assorted muffins and a gallon of soda) ?

1. 1431 Payorea Tooth Powder - Known as a very effective dental stain remover is for very effectively removing dental stains.

Sounds like a no brainer, I know. It is okay to wear a hiking/ trekking/ office-going/ cheap-with-no-padding shoe for running and say "hey, they are all shoes" only if it is okay to use harpic and lysol to remove dentals stains since "hey, they are all stain removers".

2. Pump up the volume

We all worship at the altar of 80s film music, no doubt. But trust me, when you are running at 7-8mph speed on a treadmill and wanting to go that extra few hundred yards before you tire out and drop dead, Mike Mogan (sic) singing "Udaya Geedham Paaduven" is not what you want to hear.

3. Never envy thy neighbor

Are your competitive juices overflowing that you want to run harder/longer/faster than the guy in the next treadmill ? Are you itching to set your speed a notch above his and prove a non-existent point ? Usually, this is when one of many things happen
a) Age/ human physiology/ lack of stamina/ a genuine belief in Newton's laws of motion catch up with you seconds before the treadmill throws you on the ground spread eagled.
b) the guy next door is actually a kenyan marathon runner who thinks a 100-mile dash is akin to running to the nearest milkbooth in the mornings.

4. Kiss

If you think you can actually kiss someone on the next treadmill and claim that a blog asked you to do so, bravo. I mean, BRAVO. To your left, we have Exhibit A - Superfast Subbarayan, who runs at breakneck speed for exactly 3 minutes, and then spends the remaining half hour panting and leaning on to one of the side walls, a nervous breakdown ready to happen. To your right, is Exhibit B - Passenger Parameswaran who starts off walking, starts to jog, then starts to run, then begins cooling down and manages to get out of the treadmill in one piece by Keeping It Simple & Synchronized (there, KISS). So, which one is it ? Super Subbu or Passenger Paramu ?


5. Cleanliness is somewhere between Godliness and being that guy with the obnoxious ring tone in the theater.

Buy a towel. Remember to carry it. Don't forget to use it on yourself and the exercise equipment you just used. It's okay, the towel knows that is it's purpose. Being all sweaty and drenched looks extremely manly and attractive only on Peyton Manning and Dwyane Wade in that Gatorade commercial. Unless you haven't won the Super Bowl when I wasn't looking, take it from me, its pretty mundane.