Kingdom Come

"He has to be here somewhere. Look again"
"I found him"
"Where ?"
"There !!"

What follows next leaves you with a feeling you cannot explain in words - like a sunset in sandy island or a layup in the dying seconds of a game - Indy on top of a german U-boat with the theme playing in the background, stopping just a second for a salute and then disappearing. That scene captures the entire spirit of the Indiana Jones series. "How did he get to the submarine without being spotted ??" "Its a submarine, how can he hide _outside_ ??" "It's the whole German army against 1 man ??" - these questions apply to mere mortals, not to Dr Henry Jones Jr.

I am admittedly an Indy fanboy. The one who looks at the replica hat at the disney store who later sighs at at the price tag, the one who sings the theme in full gusto while going on the Indy ride while other adults look on amusedly, the one who will argue endlessly about how Temple of Doom is far superior and highly underrated. Naturally, the expectations rocketed beyond the outer-most-osphere. Usually when they do that, they come down with a resounding thud. So read this review at your own risk.

After multiple viewings of the trilogy on DVD over the years, and two marathon viewings of all the films (in pieces) over the last weekend, I knew exactly how fans of Star Wars would've felt waiting for the midnight showing of "Phantom Menace". At about 3am this morning, I still knew how Star Wars fans felt _after_ watching "Phantom Menace".

Here is a sneak peek from Spielberg's production notes. There are spoilers abound, so watch out.

On a lazy saturday afternoon after having two eggs for breakfast and scratching the lower chin

Yawn, I've made one too many serious films and I just want to relax. Look at that Soderbergh guy who goes on a vacation with an ever-growing entourage of stars every two years only to shoot a home video and release it as an Ocean movie. Can I make Jaws 5 ? or Jurassic Park 4 ? Or are they off their shelf life already ?

Hunting game at Skywalker Ranch

Splendid. Ford is bored after his critically acclaimed, smash hit films like "Firewall" and "Hollywood Homicide". Lucas just realized that he can't go on milking Luke Skywalker forever. As they say, it takes three to tango. Background music start.

After watching a sweaty Lucas trying to blather something on the lines of "phantom, clones, revenge"

Lucas acted a bit strange today. When I said I am planning a sequel to an iconic series after 19 years, he hid all copies of "The Phantom Menace" before offering to help. Should enquire further.

After encountering a serious director's block

Hmm, we had the truck chase in RotLA, the rail car chase in ToD and the tank chase in LC. Today, Ford is approaching the age when he plays roles like Presidents (absolutely no need to overwork oneself) and Software Experts (-ditto-). George wants an intensely-CGI filled car chase where no one knows whats going on. Incidentally, he also owns ILM. Enquire this further too.

Desperate to get an idea and accidentally sitting on an ant hill

We did snakes, we did bugs, we did rats. What shall we do now ?? Think Steven, think. Ah, let us do Ants. A lot of fake-looking CGI ants. There.

Weighing up the paying public

Snake gag, check.
Whip gag, check.
Hat gag, double check.
Now the audience will forget everything else and agree its an Indy movie. Thank goodness.

After watching "Queen Elizabeth" and "Beowulf" in makeup

Its funny how many people said okay to be in this film without even reading the script. Take Cate Blanchett, the Meryl Streep of this generation, who just gave her nod for a terribly one-dimensional character. Wait till she meets Jim Broadbent, Ray Winstone and William Hurt who have no-dimensional roles. Chuckle, chuckle.

Planning for the future

We are planning to shoot the last sequence tomorrow. Now that Ford cannot do another movie, George and I have planned to have a symbolic scene where he hands over his whip and hat to LeBeouf. Then, we can continue to make a truckload of money with direct-to-video movies, young Mutt Williams/Jones III tv shows, an animated series on MW/J3, MW dolls with funny limbs and a string of blockbusters for memorial day weekends.

After getting horrible nightmares of being tossed around by fans

Yes, I re-shot the transition scene. Now all you fans, allow me to make another Indy movie. Tan ta dattan, tan ta dan, Tan ta dattan, tan ta dan tan tan.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

The Name Game

Rajasthan Royals

Jaipur, Ajmer, Jaisalmer, Bikaner, Jodhpur, Udaipur - yep, we get it, they have all the moral right in the world to name their team Royals. Secondly, they also stayed true to Team Naming Conventions 101 with their "double initials" (RR). Try saying San Antonio Spurs and Los Angeles Lakers. Now try saying Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Minnesota Timberwolves. See what I mean ?

Delhi Daredevils

Totally cliched alright, but then what else would you call a team that is represented by an actor who jumps buildings to flick a thumbs-up and led by a player who aspires to reach his double/triple-hundreds with a sixer ? Delhi doesn't score high on originality, but definitely gets it right with appropriateness.

Deccan Chargers

Well yes, they picked Laxman as their icon despite knowing clearly well that their matches are _not_ played in Sydney against Australia, but hey their name is catchy and slots in the name of their sponsors without being ugly-conspicuous. Mission accomplished.

Chennai Superkings

First, it is still Madras for many. It was and will always be. And when one hears the name "Chennai" being murdered in foreign tongues, it makes it all the more true. Second, the thamizh guy's English vocabulary is slightly larger than "Super", "Rascal" and "Mind It". Try harder next time.

Bangalore Royal Challengers

So tell me this. Isn't Mallya the liquor baron who owns the brand Kingfisher ? Isn't Shaw Wallace one of his fiercest competitors ? Incidentally, isn't Royal Challenge (RC for the initiated) one of their brands ? So, are you telling me that Mallya invested heavily in this team to give it the name of his competitor ? Yep, being in the midst of Kingfishers and Royal Challengers can do this to you. Proof: The Bangalore team which shows signs of serious inebriation.

Punjab Kings XI

This is exactly what happens when you stay awake all night for lavish launch parties buring hard earned money earned starring in such timeless classics like KANK, CCCC, JBJ and then select a team name with the hangover intact. It was like someone stood up groggily, picked out the LCM of all the names (2 Royals, 1 Knight, 1 King), suffixed a number to it and then continued with getting wasted. Heck, I would have been happy if a spinning mill from Tirupur had bought the team and called it Punjab Sudarmanis.


Mumbai Indians

This would have been a brilliant PR movie if all the other teams had imported players from Lesotho, the audience brought in from Suriname and the venues spread across Papua New Guinea. Unfortunately for Ambani, this looks more boneheaded than it should. At least he has something to show to his brother during the court visit.

Kolkatta Knight Riders

And the winner is, Kolkatta. For being bold and breaking the mold by dedicating their team name to the ethos of Brokeback Mountain. They also have the only other thing that makes the team name look better. Those team helmets. Ramarajan/ Govinda/ Jaggesh/ Junior NTR looks like Calvin Klein.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

NSHOTB

There is a saying : What starts well, ends well. Ironman, the New Super Hero On The Block, gets that just right. A fast-talking Robert Downey Jr, showing some "Tony Stark" attitude and downing some alcohol while "Back In Black" plays in the background. Ironman, you have arrived and arrived in style.

I am not a big fan of the Iron Man novels, so much so that I started digging up comics only after I saw the trailer. Even that was primarily due to the namesake soundtrack. And am glad I did. Marvel has had great success with it's super hero franchises, but almost all of them have their best days behind them. After two splendid movies in the series, the Spiderman and X-Men movies have hit a trough with their third. Ang Lee had great visions for the Hulk, but after a major overhaul, the series hopes for Norton to give it a boost. The Fantastic Four movies were terrible anyways (Jessica Alba included). To top that, Marvel just started their own studio and a success was needed more so than ever. Enter Robert Downey Jr.

Having someone say a movie's success is attributed to, of all things, Downey is similar to attributing success to a Silambarasan or Van Damme - entirely laughable. I would've too, only he gave sufficient notice with his brilliant performance in Zodiac. Downey plays the irreverent-rich-whizkid turned womanizing-hard-drinking-billionaire turned high-flying-innovator turned impulsive-crime-fighter like second nature. Be it his "Merchant of Death" speech at the beginning of the movie, or his impulsive blurt at the end of it, Downey fires a salvo at everyone who thought he was yet another hollywood-made alcoholic wreck.

Favreau has got many things right in this movie - a tight script (IMHO, could've been a bit longer), staying true to the origins of the character, enjoyable humor, visible nods to future directions in this series (loved Rhodes' "next time, baby"), a well-performing cast with Paltrow and Howard and the subliminal choice of Downey as Iron Man, probably because what lies ahead for Iron Man is what lies behind for Downey.

There are interesting times ahead for Marvel. They are trying to establish what they did in comics/novels into movies - which is to weave a broader arc with all their major superheroes. Tony Stark has a cameo in the upcoming Hulk movie, Rhodes gives a hint of where he is headed, S.H.I.E.L.D is in, there is a mention of the Avenger initiative (and you know who else is in by that). Add the 25c/copy sale of comic books that we found yesterday. There is no better time to be a comic book fan.

Iron Man treads oft-treaded territory where a Superhero is intentionally made to look more human than hero. Iron Monger is no Magneto nor Green Goblin. But still, its a great start to a promising series as long as Downey stays on-board. Its not my top Super Hero movie, that would still be Batman Begins followed by a bottomless chasm, but Iron Man has a refreshing feel after enduring the pain of X-men-3 and Spiderman-3. If nothing seems to interest you enough, go and watch it just for the stan lee cameo, the end-scene after the credits with someone you know from before or Gwyneth Paltrow. Heck, just go watch it for Gwyneth.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...