Of Mice and godMen

The TamilNadu Police Force dropped the biggest bomb for deepavali 2004 by arresting Jayendra Saraswathi Swamigal, the headpriest of the Kancheepuram Math (A Religious House). The media, the police, hitherto unknown politicians and retired old men are having a field day. The deal being, the headpriest of a very powerful math in south india, is accused of being the kingpin of a criminal conspiracy behind the murder of another individual. For all non-indians (permanent and temporary) who had seen the likes of Jim Jones and The People's Temple and wondering what the big fuss is all about, oh yeah, this __is__ big deal out here. We have had embezzlements, power-brokering and even sex scandals, but murder, nope.

The first moron off the block is Sun TV. One of the seriously stupid television channels around, second only to Jaya TV, you got to see it once to believe the kind of nonsense they are capable of creating. Everytime they show him walking out of the police van, it is always accompanied by some psychotic background music which you last heard when norman bates was stalking marion crane in the shower. The next piece of joke starts with Sun TV going down amidst the "general public" to gather their "unbiased views." One look at those luminaries who offer their views, and you have a faint feeling that this guy was so similar to one of those pictures in the rogue gallery in your nearest train station. They read out from a standard script which has keywords like "No man is above the law" and "The law would take its course". If rehearsing those geniuses is a tough ask, atleast teach them some modulation for chrissake. They sound like they are testifying on deathbed with the Grim Reaper dangling his scythe from behind.

The next two bunch of idiots are similar in one aspect in that they choose to wear some sort of uniform, either saffron or black, depending on who pays them the most. At the blow of a whistle, we get our own version of "World Wrestling Entertainment meets World Rugby Union evolves into Whose Line Is It Anyway". It is only then you understand why they so wisely tie their colors to their foreheads than anywhere else. When you are running in with a stick in your hand, you dont care to look at the other guys face, only the color of the turban suffices. Look, match turban color, and hit if it doesn't. Simple. Sometimes, due to busy schedules and ambitious deadlines, over-worked individuals forget what color they are wearing currently and end up whacking their own team. Since all those cuts and gashes look well on their resume, they have accepted it as another occupational hazard and get on with their beating.

The last bunch of morons are the ones who hire the aforesaid. If you have more money than you could ever spend, let me give you a number to leave it for some other worthy reasons for spending like DVD buying and bungee jumping. To top all this idiocy, guess where they organise all these agitations ?? No, not in kancheepuram where people are busy knitting those world class silk sarees, caring in the least for all this chaos, but in every other city where there are a bunch of cameramen on the loose to shoot just about anything. The politicians choose to call it political mastery, while the general public calls it simply "lack of common sense". Usually, the public is right. One after other, a familiar set of folks go on air talking the same load of gibberish, using eloquent vocabulary, but beating the horse to death about how justice prevailed. By sheer talent and practice over the years, they suppress their laughter while generating all those pearls of wisdom. Yawn. Continue to watch that, we'd become the last bunch of morons to join this illustrious list.

For Steinbeck fans, If the title led you believe this was metaphysical review of his works, whoops. If you really wanted to know about Kanceepuram and the Math, you probably need to read your IXth standard history book for once or buy a Sthalapuranam ('History of the Holy Site') from the temple premises. If you wanted to know the history behind this case, read Junior Vikatan or Kumudam Reporter (Investigative Journalism Magazines of the south) or sit close to some jobless relative of yours who would be discussing this to tooth and nail, with his fellow professionals (read another jobless relative) over filter coffee. If you are really disappointed due to any other reason, dont be, life is like that. Maybe another blog.

This blog did not take any stand. If you started reading this looking for some staunch viewpoints, do remember that one of the things about this blog is that, more often than not, it does not take a stand on anything. If "Kareena Kapoor Sucks" is a stand, then yes, this blog has one, but apart from that, i dont think this blog stands for anything at all. Personally, i think godmen is an oxymoron and most godmen are morons. There have been a few of them who deserve respect, but reading the future, they safely left this world for another, and now they are chuckling at what we got the whole thing reduced to. The average godman's 'statement of purpose' reads that they 'take you from the world of mortals to the world of Gods'. That makes them more or less similar to those limo drivers who take you to your date with that girl. Yeah, the limo driver takes you through all that maddening traffic and gets you to your date before she gets bored and leaves for another table, and you sincerely appreciate his service, but you stop with thanking him, probably a generous tip and thatz it. You save the gifts, roses, kisses (and all else, depending on how romantic you are) for the girl inside. The driver is happy enough with his limo, or atleast he is expected to be, and let him remain that way. Don't let him get ideas by asking him what your girl friend needs to wear for dinner next time around. If you do, you have serious relationship problems. If you dont have a girlfriend or you think limos are snobbish or you hate analogies which go round and round, the grand idea is that you should talk to your wife before investing in something, talk to your daughter if you want to get her married, and talk to your parents if you are thinking about relocating and if you want to start a new business on, say recycling seagull refuse, talk to an oceanographer or an ornithologist. Leave godmen to do what they do best, whatever it is, it definitely isnt an opinon on the composition of seagull refuse.

Limo drivers, Oceanographers, Ornithologists and Communists, please excuse. No offence meant to any of them, I so badly wanted to use that analogy. The rest, leave the heavenly creatures to fight over whose right and who is wrong, mere mortals have other important things to do. Now where was that exclusive winona ryder montage site ??