A House - Two Doors

Door 1:

Showing around the US to a first-timer can be the easiest of things. Its the rough equivalent of taking someone who has only seen panagal park and airdrop him into jurassic park. One would see surprises regardless of which direction he/she turns. Or so joey thought. When a first-timer to the US landed last week, and joey had to show him around, he thought he could get away with showing him the nearest downtown and a few drives up or down the freeway. No, not when the traveller has spoken to others who have different priorities and stayed longer than joey has. It could've been far better if the powers-that-be in India had spun their stories on other worthwhile places, but they had to go ga-ga over Reno.

Reno, NV is a pretender. If Virender Sehwag is the next Sachin because he has a batting stance bearing a striking physical resemblance to sachin's, then yes, Reno is as good as Las Vegas. The problem with Reno is that she tries to emulate her elder sister Las Vegas, fails to realise LV is the Big Momma of 'em all, and by refusing to give up, falls with a resounding thud like someone pulled a dirty carpet from under her.

Reno has only one thing to offer the unsuspecting tourist apart from the faded walls, jaded people and dirty carpets. And that is Slot Machines. A lot of them. A real lot of them. A frigging sea of them spread across a huge block. Not that Joey is James Bond in disguise who can play blackgammon and trump the table, but he cant help but wonder the amount of brain activity involved in playing that slot machine.

step 0: Choose a nice looking slot machine - with a star wars theme (if you are under 15 years old) or a pamela anderson theme (if you are male).
step 1: Throw coin into dilapidated opening by the side of the slot machine.
step 2: Pull the lever
step 3: Give a constipated look at the slots
step 4: Slot machines goes rat-at-at-at-rat-at
step 5: If you are lucky it spews a few coins. If you are not, it doesnt burp.
step 6: remove your brain and replace it with a peanut and go back to step 1 to play again. But this time, choose another slot machine. Different theme, different busty-babe, but same mental challenge.

While their children are taking better vacations in Bali and Seychelles, A horde of old people with full wallets and empty eyes, sitting in front of those machines and seeing their lives disappear one second at a time. God, We all know Joey is Evil. We all know the biggest punishment you give someone is by making him/her die alone. But God, Please, Dont make him die with a slot machine.

Door 2:

Sam is an unassuming guy. In pretty much the same way as Idi Amin is a philanthropist. If its too cryptic, here is the real deal. Sam doesnt know/understand/experience this word called modesty. So when he started driving cars in the US, he made sure that it was on the news tickers on CNN. Sadly, he doesnt want to remember that its probably one of the easiest things to do in here. When Sam had to drive the traveller down to the City of Angels, he was all too thrilled to showcase his driving talent. What he didnt count on was that he would have to drive all the way alone to LA, in the night, on one of the notorious stretches of highways around, and when he is half asleep.

After close to 5 hours of intense three-way wrestling with crazy traffic and ghostly darkness, Sam managed to reach Los Angeles at midnight. The Angels seems to have taken a vacation and went back to eden leaving Los Angeles in our able hands, and mankind has surely done a good job to make it a nice entertainment spot. Los Angeles, City of Angels, City of Hollywood, and if i may add, The city with the highest percentage of thrill killing and highway shoot-outs according to wikipedia. Gulp.

Shooting seems to be like eating a pan after lunch. Someone overtakes you at a turn, Bang. Someone honks at you, Bang Bang. So the number of times when Sam had to allow a car tailing him to take the lead by inexplicably driving almost on the pavement cannot be written off as cowardice, but as sheer presence of mind or Sam's unwillingness in letting his body to be used as a sieve yet. About those countless time when he turned around quickly, almost ducking when the water bottles in the boot shook with a violent turn, you can call it reflexes. About all the times when he refused to make contact with the driver of the adjacent vehicle, even if it was a 70+ granny with phony teeth, well, call it anything since sam doesnt care anymore.

House:

What do you expect ?? Joey and Sam turning out to be alter-egos of Dent ?? Heck, you thought this is some kind of K. Balachander movie ??