An Enchanted Evening

An Enchanted Evening it really was. Pleasant wind, full moon, clear skies and .... and around 1000 people around. If you were expecting a lit-candle and a woman in red, dont. If (and that is a Times-New-Roman, size 128, all-bold, underlined font there) and when that happens, this blog would never mention something on those lines.

It was "Shakti" Night in bangalore and true to our wallet-conscious mindsets, we had settled for the cheapest tickets of the lot. Most of the crowd in our gallery had settled in, but surprise, surprise, a bunch of front-row seats were vacant. Laughing at the ignorance of the folks inside, we dashed to the front row. What was better about those seats was that it was only a few feet away from the last row of the next class. So close that I could get up, roll today's newspaper and whack a fly on someones head who paid twice as much as I did and that was like super cool. As we sat there basking in our own trivial triumph, We saw the breathtaking view there before us, probably better than what even the highest class could afford. Yep, we had an unbeatable view of the monstrous speakers that were mounted one over the other. Just that big, black, holey monster apparatus from left to right and nothing else.

Finally, we managed to find three seats in a row and we dug in. And only after we dug in, we realised the hopelessness of our case. We had SMS-freaky girl to our right, Undecipherable-dialect-speaking loud-mouth-daddy with equally-confusing-dialect-speaking louder-mouth-mummy and constantly-wailing-baby behind, mmmmm-its-so-cooooold-[snuggle]-isnt-it-sweetheart-[snuggle-closer] couple in the front and carnatic-head-bangers (head shakers who fly kites in thin air, literally) all around. Given the options that we had, the only thing seemed to be head banging and we jumped into it posing as carnatic know-alls shaking our heads so violently as if we took The Chair after a long walk on the Green Mile. While we were depressed with this pre-concert setting, the host lightened up the situation by venturing on to the stage and thanking the main sponsors, "Windsor Manure" (Windsor Manor) and also requesting the audience "not to eat their insides" (which turns out to be a request for us not to eat anything inside the auditorium).

Inspite of all this, Shakti rocked. For any newbie to indian-rock-fusion, this would have opened atleast a billion gateways into music. Shankar Mahadevan, a new addition to Shakti, did his bit with vocals. Mclaughlin has the guitar in hand, but he makes it sound like the veena. Shrinivas has the mandolin in hand, but makes us hear a violin (agree, that bit was crazy, but ask any newbie to such music and he'd probably wager on shrinivas playing the violin). Selvaganesh had this ganjira in hand. Smallish, odd-looking, simple instrument. But the "thani aavardhanam" (Individual Showcase) which he did with that was simply as(t)ounding. And then came Zakir. I have a feeling he was having a philosophical conversation with the Tabla than just playing it. Towards the end, both the percussionists got into a dialogue, joined by the other three and ended in a crescendo which would've left even the tight-fisted asking for more.

On the way out, i realised something. This concert had chairs, audience who did not smoke weed, and no one climbing on top of another screaming. If it had been Shakira in concert instead of Shakti, errmm, that could've resulted in a whole new blog altogether.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

Sania S(a)lam

For the first time in recent history, Indians are looking forward to a Grand Slam with hope. Sania Mirza has arrived at the Grand Slam scene and she becomes the first Indian Woman to ever play in the third round of any Grand Slam tournament. Agreed, there are 63 others who have made it that far and the finals and the cup are taking things too far. But with a country of a billion blistering barnacles, it feels great to see a shark now and then. No, no. We are not trying to do a "Mera Bharat Mahan" with our chests puffed up. So many sites and blogs have been doing it already. So let us just stick to the basics.

Women's tennis used to be hot one point of time. And when i say, am not talking 'Madras Hot' here, we are talking the real 'Sahara Hot' here. The Quintessential Drooler's Favorite, Steffi Graf. Evert had gone by then, and this blonde german was setting the courts on fire with her forehands and a few harried housewives' patience off it. There was this one time when steffi lost the first round in wimbledon against an unknown Lori Mcneil. After that match, till date, Lori Mcneil has never been heard of, save in some quizzing circles. The only reason i can think of is the multitude of curses and hexes that would have been thrown in her direction. Considering the number of cursers i know personally, Lori Mcneil should be happy staying in one piece. Atleast steffi won all that was there to win, but the story of Gabriella Sabatini was probably even more spectacular. A regular loser at the fourth round or earlier, the popularity of Sabatini rose to such mind boggling levels that our "Page 3"s were filled with rumours of Sabatini and Shastri and later, of their break up. No clue if Sabatini and Shastri knew all this, but lot of school kids used to talk about it :-D.

Life was peaceful and everyone was busy with building fan sites for Mary Pierce and Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova. Like a pair of violent tornadoes ripping apart a populated sub-urb, in walked The Williams Sisters. One is never sure what hits them in the eye when they see them. Is it their game or is it the splash of colors which they got exclusively designed ?? Govinda and Ramarajan would hang their faces in shame. At exactly the same point, everyone else in the circuit either got tired, or more likely, scared and almost all the grand slam events would be Williams-Fests. The sisters running amuck in the court, with the father doing his antics in the players' pavilion. Women's Grand Slam finals were hardly watched and the time of tennis-hungry men was coming to an end.

Just like Nirvana saved the world from glam rock, there came an influx of stars who are watchable on and off court. No, not Anna Kournikova. She was neither. Heck, she got reduced to posing for Sahara Airlines of late. We are talking The New Face of Tennis. Kim Clijsters, Elena Dementieva, Maria Sharapova and the subject matter of this whole blog, Sania Mirza, if i may say, with that new nose-ring she has got. They dont just look pretty, as a bonus they beat the Williams Sisters right at the start of the open, thus saving so many people from heartburn. If Sania can do it tonight, she just doesnt make India proud. She'd throw us back to the heydays. Bowlfull of pakkodas, bottle full of sauce, house full of friends and eye full of candy. Go Sania !!

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

Cherie

I dont believe in Love at First Sight. Valmiki might insist that it happened, but i have a sneaking suspicion that both Ramar and Seetha did have some previous run-ins before they eventually did the "Annalum Nokkinal Avalum Nokkinal thing" (He looks, She looks, Love happens). Maybe that is why when we met for the very first time in college, i dont think i even noticed her again.

There are others who look better, no questions asked. But isnt beauty something that has to do with the beholder's eyes ?? Does she probably stand out of the rest in other areas ?? Definitely not on first look. One had to be with her to know that what she looks like is not necessarily how she is. After the usual initial hiccups, we suprisingly got along just fine and the times we have had, they were just about brilliant. Long trips with the chill air right on the face, no one else around, just the two of us. Boy, I reckon those were the times when i wanted to shout "I am The King of The World", but silently let it go coz it was too cliched.

There was this one time when someone said maybe i should start looking for a change. What shook me was when even my best friends said i need to move on. How would they not know about us ?? We had been together all along in time. When the roads were dark, she gave me light, when the path to my home was bumpy, she carried me through. When there were ups and downs all along, she stayed with me, never complaining even a bit. They have a point, they think am making life uncomfortable for me and for people around me. I am sure my mom and dad are probably feeling that way because am not moving on. But after all the times we had, i cannot just ditch her, can i ??

I defied all that was thrown at me then, its been a long time since and I have no regrets. There have been hitches allright, There were times when i hadnt taken care of her the way i should have. There were times when she let me stranded right in the middle of the road. Heck, we have even been pulled up by the police coz we were staying out late in the night. But has it changed anything ?? Has it changed the way we see each other ?? No, absolutely not. Even now, i have my folks telling me that i cannot be doing this forever and i am still telling them that this is the way things are going to be and am happy with what am doing.

All said and done, both of us understand, there is going to come a time when one of us has to let go. It is going to be a stampede of emotions for me, 9 years is not a short time on any scale and on that day, when one of us has to leave, when i look really distraught, am sure she wont cry. She never does.

My Bike - My Unflinching Love.

Now go read it again.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

KFA - 8th Jan, 2005

The "Kudi Irundha Kovil" Award for public display of brotherly love goes to the Ambani Brothers. Elder brother spills the beans on CNBC. Younger brother writes touching mails to all his employees asking questions that cannot be answered. Elder brother comes back into town and dusts up his Board of Directors. Younger brother resigns and makes Anand Jain look like an 80s Amitabh Movie Vamp. Keep reading about them in the newspapers, there would soon be a mega serial on one of the televisions. We call upon someone from the MP Birla family to give away this prestitigious award. Well, errmm, since they are busy with infighting, so we would ask Anil and Mukesh to pick up the award themselves and go home in peace.

The "Sigmund Newton" Award for combining human psychology with inventive capabilities goes to, err, a bunch of unknown poster designers. Early morning on bannerghatta road, i see a bunch of people pasting movie posters. As they move away after doing their job, you cant help but noticing what hits you in the eye. Its an ordinary movie poster which has no pictures or whatever, printed with a Dark Blue lining with just the name of the theatre and the movie. Now, what is unique is the way they've projected the name of the movie to onlookers. There is a small "The", tiny that you would miss it if you arent asked to look for it. What follows is a gigantic representation of the word "Naked", so huge that even Homer would get partial vision. In the end, there is another equally tiny mention of the word "cell". Hmm, they seem to have a point, not many would be interested in Definite Articles and Microscopic Organisms as they would be in Absence of Clothes.

The Third Award for the evening goes to two individuals, Shankar Anand and Ranjeet Ramalingam. Two 24 year old software engineers slogging out in Bangalore. They dont write blogs, they dont write supposedly-funny short stories and most importantly, they dont shirk responsibility. The two of them, inspite of crushing deadlines, have pooled in their resources they could and have actually made it to Nagappattinam (a coastal town in tamilnadu) to help the Tsunami victims there. No forwarded chain mails, No "please contribute for victims" placards, No blowing their own trumpet. Just plain old action. Dudes, You Rock !!!

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...

Its here already

2005, and it was like 2004 only yesterday. Well yeah, it literally was. But you get my point, dont you ?? I remember saying similar stuff even last year, and the year before last. Heck, i have been saying this since i became old enough to note that a year was passing by.

Newyears are special in a way that you get a chance to look up how you have fared in the resolutions you have made last year. It is so surprising how glossy they still look. Hmm, if i had even bothered to touch them after the day i made the resolutions, there would have been something to have call for as much as a trace. Whats lost, we have a new year coming up and it is time to make resolutions again. So, here comes Tyler Durden with his new year resolutions, written in second person just to make sure he remains safe if there are any issues or disagreements.

1. 'My first new year resolution is not to make resolution. bwahahahaha`. This is NOT a joke. This is a PJ, even if it is cracked by Drew Barrymore. Your resolution is to immediately say 'Duh' and look elsewhere.

2. When someone jumps a signal and almost runs you over, dont shout at him. Instead chase him down and pick up a fight. Do not worry if your day would get spoilt if you start on this note. It aint going to be better anyways.

3. Learn to handle them Mobile Phone maniacs politely. When someone lets their mobile phone ring inside a music concert or a play, after all s/he is under-privileged in the fact s/he does not know how big a moron s/he is. please feel free to remind them of the fact that they should probably stick their head inside a bin.

4. There is life beyond curd rice. Cuisines do not start and end with curd rice.

5. Rehabilitate someone out of the vices of listening to pointless music like trance and rap. Show them the light of alternative metal and rock. Be blessed by the rock gods.

6. Learn to drive a car. Elementary school kids drive scorpios and you are old enough to fly a frigging space shuttle. Get a grip on your life for chrissake.

ps: make sure you let people know that you are at it. We can handle only one calamity at a time.

7. When someone spits pan from inside their car onto the road, it is okay to spit on their car. Preferable to spit inside, but make sure you stay out of hand's reach.

8. You are old, in fact too old, to pull the emergency lever in the train and claim ignorance. So stop giving those sheepish looks to the chain everytime you are on a train. Maybe you can encourage adventurous kids to do it for you.

9. Go slow on the DVDs front. Some movies which you have bought are so pathetic that even the cast and crew would not want to own a personal copy.

10. Always make it a point to remain silent for 2 minutes everytime a good friend of yours get married. For all the good times you guys had together, that is the best you can do.

11. Not having a mobile phone is not a sin. Not having a mobile phone is not unconstitutional. Not having a mobile phone is not inhuman. It is only the predictability of your social life and a lack of people to call.

12. Start saving money for that Merc with a unending-cache of Cadbury Nutties. You are not going to leave any stone unturned.

13. Come to think of it, there probably is no life if not for curd rice. No Thachi-Mammu, No Life.

14. Never be superstitious.

Thank heavens, I was so worried i would get stuck with 13 resolutions.

Read on ... (at your own peril, obviously) ...