SageSpeak - All Is Never Lost - IV

"Fine. We screwed up with the music idea. Now that doesnt mean we are going to give up, Are we", asked Lamar.
"I dont know Lamar, this is her favorite song and i screwed it up no end", John was kicking himself.
"Hey, it wasnt that bad you know", said Lamar, popping up a chocolate into his mouth.
"Really??", John's voice had hope pasted on it from the left to the right.
"Well, actually it wasnt as bad as getting hit with tomatoes and rotten eggs was what i had in mind"
"Now dont say that Lamar, am already down"
"Kid, dont bother. I have an idea"
"Another ??" asked John incredulously. He had had enough eggs and tomatoes to make a Sub and he was in no mood to want for more.
"Yes, but this time we hit the right spot. Tell me this, what turns on a woman".
"Errrmm, a life size picture of a bare-chested hugh jackman ??", queried John, not too sure with himself.
"Well technically yes. But what else ??"
"I hope its not Thermodynamics coz i was never good at ..."
Lamar couldnt take it anymore and he cut across, "Bravery".
"Eh ??".
"Bravery. King Arthur and his Knights, Bravery. Alexander, Sword Fights, Diving into danger, Mindless acts of violence, Bravery.", Lamar was getting hysterical now.
"Oh".
"Have you ever been in fights before ??" asked Lamar.
"They used to call me 'The Terminator' back there in Dunceshire" said John. What he intentionally forgot to mention was the fact that he won the title by winning an "Eat All That You Can" contest.
"Then we have a plan. Iris is no exception and you impress her with your bravery".
"Is it really that simple ??"
"Just shutup and listen."

The next day morning Lamar and John went to the cafetaria. In walked Kathryn, Iris' confidante who had a soft corner for John.
"What are you boys doing here this time of the day ?? 8am is like midnight for you, isnt it ??", asked Kathy.
John and Lamar looked at each other. She had a point. They werent quite used to 8 in the morning.
"You are here to meet Iris, arent you John ??".
John looked down.
"John, dont do this to yourself. You took Iris' favorite song to the cleaners the other day"
"Kathy that was an accident", said John.
At the same time, Iris entered the cafetaria. As if she could sense the presence of John, she didnt even turn this side and walked up straight to the bar-stools.
"I better get going before she sees me with you. Take care John".
"Bye Kathy", said Lamar, with a funny accent.

While Kathy was turning to leave, in walked the biggest man John had ever seen. Standing side-by-side, He would make John look like a hobbit. No, in fact he would make him look like a dwarf. Better, he would actually make him look like an Ewok. The big man turned and walked towards Iris and stood in front of her. John could clearly see the change in Iris' mood. Dilated pupils, increased breathing, fidgeting fingers and sweat. She __was__ in trouble.
"Go get him, John", said Lamar.
"What the", started Kathy.
By the time John had moved in for the kill. If it meant sending big-boss-man to hospital to win Iris over, he'd go one step further and send him to the Intensive Care Unit. Maybe that would account for a chocolate fudge sundae on a weekend date.

John touched him from behind, turned him over, looked at Iris, said an inappropriate "Hi", turned towards big-boss-man and said "That is not the way to talk to lady".
"And who are you", said BBM in a gravelly voice. One is not sure if it was cheesy dialogue that spurred him to say it that way, but it sure had a challenge tied in the end and was dangling in front of John's face to be picked. John, was only too happy to see that.
W-H-A-M. John's punch got him right in the jaw.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed Big-boss-man falling to the floor.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed Iris, she had spilt coffee on her favorite tee-shirt.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed the rest of the cafetaria, the punch was so brutal.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed Kathy as she stepped onto something and lost balance.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed Lamar, coz Kathy had dug her stilletto-heel onto Lamar's toes.
"Awwwwwwwwww" screamed John, regardless of how cool he wanted to look, the punch hurt his knuckles.

Before BBM could get to his feet, John hauled him up. He saw Lamar showing his thumbs. That was the signal, he was doing good then. BBM was not living upto the reputation his size had promised. From the corner of the eye, he could see Iris walking upto him. BBM was now calling her name in despair. How dare he ?? Two more jabs to the face. Iris was now fast approaching. Lamar was now showing the "punchbag" signal, which meant John had to go on an overdrive. BAM, BIFF, KAPOW and all that meant BBM was screaming Iris' name louder. When John gave him a punch to his guts, and BBM went down on his knees, Iris had reached John.
"John", she said in a really pacified tone.
John didnt see this coming. But true to the plan, he didnt turn around. "Never look back, keep doing the mugging job, that makes you look you are sincere", Lamar's words. Golden words. Lamar, I would spend the rest of my life writing your assignments. Lamar, The Genius.
"John", Iris laid her hands on John's shoulder.
"When she touches you, it means the job is welldone. Turn around slowly. Dont make it seem you are desperate", St. Lamar's holy gospels.
As he slowly turned around, he now had Iris's face in full vision. "Now what is this expression she had in her face ?? It definitely isnt a smile. Is this how women generally look when they are in awe of someone ?? Should ask Lamar when i get back".
T-H-W-A-C-K. John thought if Iris had surgically implanted a metal-girder for her right hand. The last thing he saw lying on the floor and holding his jaw was Iris holding BBM up and walking him down.

Kathy came huffing and puffing. "Do you know who he is ??"
"....".
"Do you know who he is ??"
John wasnt sure if she repeated the question again or it was the after-effects of having a jawbreaker few minutes back. Anycase, he was too dazed to care.
"....".
"He is Gideon".
John didnt know him. Gideon wasnt a scientist and if he was no scientist, John had no reason to know him.
"...."
"and Gideon is Iris' younger brother".
"....". This time John was speechless with shock.
"He comes here to talk to Iris and convince her to meet the guy whom her parents have seen for her. That was why Iris was a bit apprehensive"
"....". John was losing touch with the human world.
"and in case i forgot to mention, Iris loves Gideon more than anything else in this world"
"....". What was the point in talking anyway ??

"I'm ruined", One would be pardoned if he mistook John's tone for Darth Vader's.
"Not yet", said Lamar.
"Oh, am sorry. You have another plan to completely kill me or something ??".
"Hey, dont scream at me. How was i supposed to know", Lamar shot back.
"Lamar, you told me a thug comes to meet Iris every now and then to blackmail her for money and i have to beat the crap out of him to impress Iris. If you dont remember that thug happens to be her brother and she loves him so much that she almost powdered my jaw with one punch".
"Let us use a technique that has never failed"
"Funny, you said something close to this the last time".
"Just listen me out, will you ??".
"Just dont get me killed, will you??".
"A girl might not be impressed with bravery or music, but there is one thing that always gets her. A Kiss".
"What ?? I gotto kiss Iris ?? You got to be kidding man"
"I know you are so scared. Its natural. There is another way to handle this."
"Which i presume is to dress myself as Mrs. Doubtfire".
"Easier. Just load yourself with good alcohol, it is a fear-repellant you know"
Lamar thought to himself, "Fear-repellant, thats a nice word".
John felt like Iris punched him again. "Lamar, i cant drink alcoholic beverages. You know it". Indeed, the whole of the college knew John doesnt drink. Most of the times, he succeeds in making such a noise that even the regulars go into dry spells to save themselves of his sermons. John had promised his mother [" John, Never touch alcohol .. It liquidates your brain and you end up becoming a vampire" ], amongst a few hundred other things, that he would never taste alcohol since it was prima facie for him to even get out of town. For John, promises made to his mom were unbreakable rules. If it was Do or Die against a promise to his mother, the obvious choice was to Die. But after three hours of relentless trying to convince John, Lamar used the magic word "John, you have to do it .. not for me, not for you .. but for Iris". Unsurprisingly, that did the trick.

Lamar bought a nice, green colored bottle of Whiskey. John disappeared into his room for a few hours.