Aruniyan

He who has been to PSG and back is not afraid of doling out punishments. No mistake will go unpunished, No violator would go unscathed, No idler would remain in one piece (well quite literally, I got a big scythe, remember ??).

With his own copy of Garuda Puranam, Aruniyan wrecks havoc on this muddy society which teeters on the brink of disintegration.

1. Stop faking accents. It is okay to try an accent when you are talking to an american, but atleast spare your compatriots of the pain. The face is usually writ with not just the nationality, but also the region, and guess what, when an accent is faked, it gives the same feeling as the same screechy sound of a piece of chalk when written on a new board gives. Keep doing it, you are going to be tongue-tied (again, very literally) when aruniyan chooses to meet you.

2. Cut that crazy tune on the mobile phone. People are trying to co-exist here. Mobile phones are meant to be carried along with. Not to be left on the desk while you wander somewhere letting it play it's ear-splitting music for minutes till you bring your lazy posterior back to your desk. Dont make Aruniyan do a "Mr. Blonde".

3. Dis is not da way 2 rite english. If u wanna rite english dis way, den u r never going 2 rite again n ur life, 4 datz wat aruniyan decrees.

4. Stop yapping inside a movie theatre. People come there to watch a movie, not to hear your romantic duets. If talking while watching turns you on, rent a DVD. If you insist on another option, yes, there is one, but it is slightly painful and called KabeemKubaam.

5. Stop calling people names on internet newsgroups. Yes, it is easy to do that than to face someone and say the same bit. But you have to realise there is only a human level for one to degrade himself/herself and this hiding behind the computer screen takes one to a newer low. Congrats. Aruniyan thinks for a while, and sheaths his scythe since the scythe has an issue cutting through people with such abysmal levels of cowardice and lack of self-respect. Aruniyan respects his scythe's feelings and leaves him to his own fate.

Incomprehensible mumbling that sounds like some sanksrit manthra and a harris jeyaraj score follow.