Dark Night, Dark Knight

Chris Nolan, you are my new messiah. You just bettered Guy Ritchie and David Fincher by being successful at both off-beat cinema as well as mainstream. But most importantly, I thank you for saving batman from the evil clutches of the greatest villain he has ever faced: Joel Schumacher. Tim Burton brought the character to life with his original two movies, which had a gothic, industrial setting attached to it. The city of gotham was intentionally created dark and bleak to tell a story by itself. But what happens next ?? Joel schumacher comes out of nowhere, mistakes the franchise for some michael bay-ish over-the-top entertainer and produces a half-cartoon half-movie with a listless actor (whose name i cant mention since i pay him my taxes). Let us all be thankful to him that he didnt cast Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in the lead and call the movie Bad Bats. No folks, even if it had uma thurman wearing skin-tights and alicia silverstone in leather, its a thumbs down for them.

I love the batman character. Always have. No, not because katie holmes, nicole kidman, michelle pfeiffer and kim basinger played alongside. But because the batman character is one of the best illustrated and best designed super-hero characters that is entirely human and hence is so close to us.

Batman's intentions are straight forward. He does not want to impress the girl next door, nor is he there to save the world from all terrors - terrestrial or extra terrestrial. He is there for revenge. Arent we all ?? I mean, when the guy from behind honks, dont we let him pass, chase him down, honk twice as much, overtake him and then sleep in peace ??

Batman's villains, again, are human. His villains have hallucinating vapours, poisonous umbrellas and acid-soaked lipsticks at the maximum. Just our day-to-day villains we meet at work, home and in the bus with an added knowdledge of biology, physics & chemistry. No villains with eight legs or electricity/poison/other dangerous chemicals running in their body.

Batman has a brilliant temparement. He doesnt turn into a green monster everytime he is angry, jumping from canyon to canyon and taking missiles on his bare chest, and finally shrinking back to normalcy after seeing a tear in his girl friend's eye. Duh, that is hamming.

Batman, thankfully, doesnt have a knack for making cheesy one-liners. Most last words are answered thus: "I'm Batman". On the other hand, note the following conversation.
A train full of passengers saved.
"You saved us !!! who are you ??".
"your friendly neighborhood".
Excuse me ?? Dinngngngng. Wrong Answer.

Batman does not have retractable claws extending from his wrist. Batman cant lift objects using telekinesis. Batman cant create storms. Batman cant create magnetic fields. Batman cannot read others' minds and control them. Batman is not paranormal. Batman is normal. Thus proved.

Batman cant fly all by himself. It isnt difficult anyways, according to DNA it is the art of throwing yourself to the ground and somehow managing to miss it. But what the others gains with their flying capabilities, batman makes up for it with his wardrobe. A full black rubber suit with a cape is any day better than blue over-alls with a red underwear worn on top of it.