Walk in the Park

Skydiving - Cant fly - Check.
Whitewater rafting - Cant swim - Check.
Mountain climbing - Vertigo - Check.
Offroad biking - Too clumsy - Check.
Camping - Can sit still and do nothing. Aha.

Exactly my point of thought when we decided to camp for a night in the yellowstone canyon area. Off we go, with a stove, some readymade chapathis and a sweat shirt. After all, what more do we need to camp than some like-minded friends and a pack of cards ?? You think a 14-hour drive one way would scare me ?? or maybe the subzero temperatures of the night ?? Not a chance.

But I have to confess nothing prepared me for the title of the book which I unfortunately picked from the village store. "Death in Yellowstone" by Lee Whittlesey. Mind you, not plain deaths, but death by accidents and, most notably, foolhardiness. Accidents happen, they are designed that way. Foolhardiness happens, I am designed that way. A peek into the book reveals the numerous deaths of campers caused by grizzly bears. And as a final touch, recommends some further reading about how else you can get killed - overexposure to cold grounds, accidentally stepping into sulphuric acid and being bitten by wolves. If i was mogambo or van helsing, i might have enjoyed the last two.

The lady at the campgrounds was very helpful in giving us directions, hints and tips about how to handle the night. She could've left it at that. But she had to give us a map which showed where we were camping. Our camping spot was the last spot in our strip, with the whole of the jungle to our left and macabre-named highway, called the beartooth highway, running right next to it.

Setting up the campsites looked easy when we saw the others prop up theirs. It looked very easy when we read the brief instructions on the camping gear. It didnt look easy when we set our tent up and it looked like an egg. Lesson #1: Insist that atleast one geometry expert accompanies the camping party to ensure that a tent looks like a tent.

After nailing down three of the four nails deep into the ground, so deep that at one point of time we thought we might have to leave the tent behind, we find that the fourth nail cant go in since the fourth corner is a rock. Lesson #2. Check all four points before you start showing your physical prowess with the nails. Lesson #2.a. No matter what, dont drive the nails too deep. You might end up discovering petrol if you go any deeper.

The other three look around for someone to pull out the tent, and presto, there is only one around who is doing nothing else than giving directions. And off I go to tug the nail off and b-a-m, the nail doesnt move an inch, but i tear up the tent. Lesson #3 Dont let half-brained oafs near sensitive material like that.

As the sun set, everyone around us brought out the heavy duty stuff like caps and gloves. We laughed at their precautions. Later, the campfire died. The others got even. Lesson #4: A freezing temperature means __a freezing temperature__. That is why they call it __a__ __freezing__ __temperature__.

As my teeth start sending out telegrams to all and sundry, i see one from our own camp draw out his woollen gloves and another take out his monkey cap. The cozy smile they gave still looms large. Never in my life, i thought i would miss my monkey cap which i got back in school, to help me handle the cold in India as i go to my early morning tuitions. I remember throwing it away because it wasnt helping my looks. Now, relax, that was the time when i didnt know that nothing can help my looks, but anyways, thats beside the point. Lesson #5. Robinhood was right. You got to steal from the rich and give it to the poor.

As the temperature dropped like a startup's stock, the chattering teeth became even more erratic. But no, i didnt come here to chicken out. Bears, Cold, Cozily clad friends, Freezing feet, Chattering teeth, Numb hands, Rugged grounds - All they can do is watch because when I decide to do something, I do it. By staying out in the cold and sleeping in the ground, am sending out a message to all of those who are fighting to stay in the game. If I can do it, so can you. Nothing is impossible, it is only a state of mind. A fall in the temperature and a sharp stone in the ground are just too tiny to shake my resolve. I came here to camp, and camp I will. I came here to battle the elements, and battle I will.

Then it got colder and I slept inside the car for the rest of the night. Anticlimax, yes. But this blog is no hot & sour soup for the soul.

Camping - Unfit - Check.