NewsReel - The Ossification Outrage

Afraidhe Issues Ultimatum

Dashing opener/middle-order/tail-order/12thman/thug Sickhead Afraidhe launched a verbal assault on the Indian legal system and it's reliance on arcane methods like ossification for determining someone's real age.

Afraidhe, in a special interview with our correspondent Darkha Butt, expressed his dismay over such potentially unpredictable methods. "What if it was an undigested haddi from the mountain goat I had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks/drinks?", he asked. He also said he was puzzled over the the cost-effectiveness of such methods since there were other cheaper, reliable and 100% trustworthy methods. When asked to explain what they were, he scratched his nose and said "my word. my birth certificate" in that order.

Celebrating his 19th birthday along with his friends, family and a few bookies, Afraidhe expressed his happiness that the ICC does not resort to such unscientific methods. "It would be devastating for me and my friend Rasan Haza if such methods were chosen by the ICC", he said. Rasan Haza, who has been 16 years old since the start of the new millenium, nodded violently. "It really scares me to think that someone will test a mere bone in my body 10 years from now and say I am 29. That would totally ruin my 20th birthday party", afraidhe conculded.